16th June 2021
Affirmations, Affirmations, Affirmations
Believe in yourself even when you don’t, pretend you do.
This took me a long time to master and, truth be told, I am still a work in progress but I think most of us are and always will be. Every person sick, healthy, small, tall, boy, girl whatever is unique and faces every situation in their own way. My experience with an eating disorder was totally unique to me and the way I am managing my recovery is similarly totally unique to me.
My experience with Anorexia has shown me how viciously competitive a disease it is, both in the throws of it as well as in the ‘recovery’ stages. I was torn down by fellow patients both in treatment centers and outside, and I am sure in my own darkest days I behaved in terrible ways under the spell of the ‘voice’ to get ahead in some warped deceitful way. It is awful what those voices will lead you to do, literally you will go to any length.
Coming out of the grips of the disease you need to be strong, you need to have so much self belief, even more than you really have. I don’t mean arrogance, I mean confidence. I didn’t have this. I was coached in treatment to read affirmations and I scoffed “I am strong I am beautiful I am kind” that is such a load of rubbish I would think, but it’s not, Pease, please, please believe me and start to practice these daily.
I found a way, I thought of myself as a little baby, innocent and helpless, I took myself back to that small (I wasn’t so small 11lbs at birth – I know whopper right?!) baby and I remembered that I was fundamentally a good girl, a kind girl and I grew my inner acceptance slowly day by day.
I now read an amazing book each morning, The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. It is a 12 step recovery daily meditation book. I am not part of a 12 step program but the daily meditations really set my day off on the right foot. I also have a pack of affirmation cards on my desk that I select one from each morning. I practice this daily and it really works – somedays better than others – but its absolutely lifted my confidence from where it used to be, I promise you that.
I still get knocked by negative people, we all do unfortunately, but now I talk instead of bottling it up. I reach out to my husband or my sister or a close friend, I do a little self care talk and then I remember who I am. I remember whatever was said or done says something about the other person, not me, and I move onwards and upwards. People who don’t love themselves will try to tear down those that are doing great and good things its called jealousy.